Ugh, I feel so stressed out right now!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*clears throat* anyway..

My homework is stressing me out so much right now. I can barely even hear myself think from the stress. I really shouldn't even be making a journal right now since I've got so much crud to get done..

All of my teachers are driving me insane.. I hate them all right now. They're all so annoying... well the core teachers are anyway. (no offense to anyone that likes them) But I can't stand it. All of their attitudes bug the heck out of me for some reason lately. The only core teacher I don't mind right now is my math teacher and that's only because he doesn't ever talk to me.

I have a major economics test coming up on Thursday and no clue how to do anything in the class.. Great! This majorly sucks...

I should really get some homework done right now. I have other good news that I'm gonna want to talk about later though so I'll update when I can.

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*EDIT*
In other news I got accepted to this Fine Arts Festival. So that should be really fun. We'll get to do some workshops and talk to other artists from schools around here and I'm pretty excited. The first meeting for that is on the 30th of this month.

My art teacher was also telling us about another art show that she thought a few of us in my art class could get into. It's really difficult because instead of just entering works the pieces are chosen by the judges to get into the show if that makes sense. lol It's a pretty big deal. Plus 3 $12,000 scholarships for one of the major art colleges around here (Kendall) are up for grabs along with a $100 & $500 cash prize. So if I can get a good piece or two by February I'm definetly entering.

I thought there was more I was gonna say but I guess the urge has passed now...

Okay well I was texting a guy friend of mine last night.. (yes, it's who you think it is..>.> and I was asking him for some help on correcting my math test and yada yada.. and well this is the question we ended up debating about:

Are girls or guys smarter?

He was saying girls are supposed to be smarter.. I think he may have wanted to get out of helping me too though. So anyway what do you think? Honestly? And why? Just out of curiousity..

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Gonna try to go to technology club tomorrow. One of my friends wants me to go to get the club more members so it can actually be considered a club so I'm gonna try to help her out.

We're making wayang kulit (shadow puppets) in art class now. I can't seem to find any good inspiration for mine though.. :/

Anyways that's it.. a short journal entry for once..

Okay, first I need some help. For extra credit in art class I need to bring in a photograph I've taken and I can't seem to find one that I like.. Any suggestions? It has to be fairly interesting and stuff like that..

I was thinking about using:

1) [link]

2) [link]

3) [link]

Any suggestions for which picture to use? I could use the help with which photo is the best in my gallery.

I think I'm just setting myself up for heartbreak with this guy.. Now he's back to being all lovey-dovey with his girlfriend now.. I don't know I think I need to just hang it up. I wish I could but I kind of don't want to.. *sigh* I don't know.. I'm just gonna try not think about it and distract myself with other stuff.

I never got to finish my prints for art class. It looked terrible though because the colors were so dark and the prints didn't align up at all. So I'll most likely get a bad grade on that..

My art teacher is supposed to be teaching dual-enrollment classes after school for the Kendall Art School. Unfortunetly it's only for juniors and seniors. You're supposed to be able to take that class and earn college credits for it. So you can automatically get into Kendall and be admitted as a sophmore. So hopefully that'll still be around for me to take. The art classes keep having to take budget cuts since no one will sign up for them, it's awfully sad..

The good news is that my car is finally fixed. My cousin dropped it off the other night. It was rather funny because he ended up locking my keys in my car (the spare key too) so he had to come back to unlock my car for me. I'm glad he's a mechanic and knows what he's doing. But that must mean my car is still jinxed.

Hmm.. I'm supposed to be handing out candy for Halloween tonight.. . I've never done it before. I kinda wanna watch a creepy movie for the holiday.. Any suggestions? Or anything that'll be on T.V. that anyone knows of?

Happy Halloween!

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. That's not exactly a good thing for me either. Mainly I've been thinking about what might happen in the future or what'll happen next. Which is a major change from my one day at a time attitude.

Let's start with the easiest topic to talk about, Art class.
I've done a couple of projects since my last journal. One of the things would be my rock pet. It's sooo adorable! It's of a little white owl. I can't wait to get it back to post it on here. I've done a rock pet before too, when I was about 6. Maybe I'll take a picture of that and post it on here. The second thing we're doing now is a linoleum block print. oO; It's soooo difficult to do. It's supposed to be of ourselves. The process is here if anyone is interested: [link] Hopefully it'll look cool when I get done. I made myself have a plaid shirt so the colors will be very vivid and the patterns should be cool too. I just hope I didn't make my first ink too dark.. oO

My box with Cerberus that I entered in our town's art show got an honorable mention. I was the only one in my class that won anything from there. It's kind of cool honestly. I even beat out a senior that wins most of the art shows and things like that. So hopefully that means I'm getting better. My teacher certainly thinks I am. At our conferences she said that from basic art I've improved quite rapidly and that I'm also starting to develop my own artistic style. She also says that I have a great eye for detail and she hasn't seen anyone be that observational for a while. So I was quite pleased with that. She also told me that she thought I had a possibility to win some major art shows and maybe even beat some of the seniors that participate in them.

Well all this got me thinking about careers. I really want to go into something in the art field. I was thinking maybe being an illustrator. Parent-teacher conferences are what brought all this up. All of my teachers always say I'm top of the class and they always say that I should go to the best colleges and should make a good career. So then of course, they ask you what you want to go into and when I reply with "I wanna go into an art field." they always look at me like I'm stupid or something. It's sort of annoying. My economics teacher probably wants me to run a business or be a lawyer or something, the english teacher probably wants me to go into writing/journalism because she always says I'm a really good writer. So now I'm not sure about what to do. But I've still got about a year to decide and stick with it. My art teacher showed me some careers and courses that some colleges offer and out of all of the ones she showed us an Illustrator stuck out the most to me. My mom was saying that maybe I could be an illustrator and journalist for a magazine of some sort since I'm good at writing and drawing. I'm not sure what to think about all this...

I absolutely hate my car.. >.> I haven't gotten a chance to drive it yet because it had needed a new engine. Well we put a new engine in it and now it's got a water leak. Dad was saying that he'd been thinking about selling my car and just buying me one that actually runs. He already had a possible buyer. I swear everytime we fix something in the car something else breaks...

Guys are also still extremely confusing to me. I think the guy I like can tell I have a thing for him. It's not like I hide it very well... I'm always saying things that would show that I care about him... and sort of staring at him in the class we have together. It figures from my seat he practically sits right in front of me. Do you have any idea how distracting that is? Majorly distracting. Plus it's in a math class which always bores me when I understand what we're doing perfectly and people keep asking questions. So then I start to drift and of course my eyes always land right on him.. >.> He keeps catching me too.. Ugh, it's so confusing.. one day he's hung all over his girlfriend right in front of me and the next he shoots glances over at me and tries to talk to me. It's like he knows when I'm fixing to give up on him... *sigh* I don't know what to do anymore.. just take things one day at a time I guess. And take everything with a grain of salt... that might be useful too.

Well that's everything I've been thinking about pretty much. Hard to believe I can even keep all of my thoughts straight..

Well I felt I should update.. I'm not sure what to put really though...

Let's start with an easy topic: ART
I haven't done much art on my own lately, but I'm hoping that I'll get some time to make something. Plus I'll probably be doing a lot in my class. We're working with acrylics a lot honestly. I think we're going to be using a printing press or something soon.. oO So that should all be fun. We've even got a field trip planned this winter for the class! So this should be fun. I'm gonna try to go to art club again tomorrow. I wish I could help with face painting for the homecoming game but I don't think I'll be able to go.. :\(the art club does face painting to help raise money)

Okay on to: SCHOOL
Eh, not much to say really. It's boring.. same old same old.. I don't know why I threw that in there..

Alright now to the weird part of my journal: PSYCHICS
Okay, well long story short I friend of mine took me to this haunted house place in our town. (It's pretty popular too! I think it's voted like second best haunted house or something ..) Anyway I got the jeepers scared out of me there. XD I never really screamed or anything but I'd jump and gasp at everything that moved.

Well while we were there we decided to get our palms read by this psychic. I wish I wouldn't have!! D<
It's kind of freaking me out.. I need to just get over it though.. it's all mind over matter.
Anyway she nailed my personality, saying I can sometimes be a perfectionist and if anyone hurts me or my family I don't take it, I'll just walk away.

She was telling me that I was very confused at the moment and had a lot of decisions that couldn't be made yet. Which all seems to be ringing true. It was all so odd. Next she was telling me that there was a boy I liked since last year (my crush) and she said that I really liked and cared about him (that surprised me actually, she made it seem like I really truly liked him a lot more then a crush) but he hurt me really bad and then she said to stay away from him since he's no good for me.. There's supposed to be another guy that likes me, but she said I had no interest in him.

It was all so weird she laided out my whole future. I'm supposed to fall in love at 25, get married at 27 and have 2 kids. I'm also supposed to go to law school.. I don't know why I'd do that.. I wanna be an artist!!

OTHER STUFF:
Well I think I'm starting to get a little comfortable talking with my crush now. I texted him last night (I wanted to rub the haunted house in his face but he ended up making me jealous instead.. ). It's so much easier to talk to him when you have stuff to say. He was telling me he got a car (not fair! ). He was so excited he even sent me a picture of it. I love when he gets so excited about stuff like that, it's so adorable.. . So we talked about our cars (I have one but it doesn't run.. ) the rest of the night till he went off to bed. (It was only for an hour really I try to text really late so I don't run out of stuff to say )So now it's easier to text him. I have a hard time talking in person though. I get shy and can't think of stuff to say. He was saying I was funny when we were texting and I don't think he sees that side of me in person. But it's alright because he's kinda shy with texting and outgoing in person.. lol

I still can't figure out if he may still have feelings for me.. I know what the pyschic said but I don't think I'll be able to stay away. Plus it was probably all made up anyway right?! When he was asking for help with homework I think he was using it as an excuse to talk to me.. it's not like the kid's dumb, he's really smart though he always says I'm so much smarter than him. He's always calling me out in math by saying how smart I am and if the teacher even suggests one student being really smart by finishing a test or something he doesn't even hesitate to call out my name and say it was probably me. Plus the last time we had texted each other and it went well we were talking about school and teachers and stuff like that so maybe he thought it was an easy enough subject to talk about?

Yeah, so I don't know what to think or do. But I guess I've typed enough now.